By: Paige Valentik MPS, RD, LDN

Two weeks ago I wrote about finding freedom with food—learning that one cookie, one restaurant meal, or one extra drink doesn’t have to derail your health or dictate how you feel about yourself. This week, I found myself thinking about that idea again, but from a different perspective.

At our daughter’s doctor’s visit we talked about how her growth has remained steady and how she is continuing to grow at a healthy rate. As a dietitian and a mom, I’ve always tried to approach food with her (and her brother) in a way that helps her develop a healthy relationship with eating. We encourage them to listen to their body—to recognize when they’re hungry, enjoy the foods they love, and notice when they’re comfortably full.

That last part can be especially challenging. And honestly, watching her learn these skills made me wonder: What if we had all been taught this from a young age?

So many of us grow up with rules, expectations and habits surrounding food. Maybe we were told to clean our plates. Maybe certain foods were labeled “good” or “bad.” Maybe we learned to eat because we were bored, stressed, celebrating, watching TV, or simply because food was available—not necessarily because we were hungry. And as adults, those habits can be incredibly difficult to change.

We often find ourselves trying to “fix” our relationship with food after years of dieting, restriction, overeating, guilt and confusion. We have to relearn how to listen to our bodies while also navigating busy schedules, emotions, social situations and an endless supply of delicious food.

This is a big reason why helping our kids establish a healthy relationship with food is so important to us. It’s not about raising kids who eat perfectly. It’s about helping them understand that all foods can fit, that eating can be enjoyable, and that their bodies can give them valuable information.

But if you’re an adult who didn’t learn these skills growing up, that doesn’t mean you’re stuck.

We can’t go back and change how we developed our relationship with food. We can’t erase the habits, messages or experiences that shaped the way we eat today. But we can become more aware of our individual challenges and start making small, manageable changes.

Maybe that means slowing down enough to notice when you’re actually hungry. Maybe it means allowing yourself to eat a food you’ve labeled “bad” without guilt. Maybe it means putting your fork down when you’re comfortably full, even if there’s food left on your plate.

It doesn’t have to be an all-or-nothing transformation. In fact, it probably shouldn’t be. A healthier relationship with food is built through small choices, practiced over time. And while we may not be able to go back and teach our younger selves, we can start teaching ourselves now—and model those lessons for the next generation.