By: Paige Valentik MPS, RD, LDN

Do you ever feel like food takes up way too much space in your mind?

You wake up thinking about what you should eat for breakfast. You spend part of the morning wondering if what you ate was “healthy enough.” By lunchtime, you’re already thinking about dinner. Then maybe you have a cookie in the afternoon and immediately start thinking about how you need to “be good” the rest of the day.

Maybe you tell yourself you’ll start eating healthier on Monday. Or you decide that if you have dessert tonight, you’ll need to work out tomorrow. Maybe you avoid certain foods because you don’t trust yourself around them. Or you find yourself scrolling through social media looking for the next diet, nutrition rule or “healthy” recipe that will finally help you feel like you’ve figured food out.

If any of this sounds familiar, you are certainly not alone. Nutrition matters, but it shouldn’t consume you.

As a dietitian, I obviously believe nutrition is important. The foods we eat provide our bodies with energy and nutrients, and our eating patterns can play an important role in our overall health.

But healthy eating isn’t about making the perfect choice every time. You can eat a balanced breakfast and still have a donut with your kids. You can make a nutritious dinner and order pizza the next night. You can eat vegetables every day and still really enjoy a bowl of ice cream.

Food should add to your life, not take over your life.

So, what does it look like when food is taking up too much space? It might look different for everyone, but here are a few questions worth asking yourself:

• Do I frequently feel guilty after eating certain foods?
• Do I categorize foods as “good” or “bad”?
• Do I feel like I need to earn or burn off certain foods?
• Do I spend a lot of time thinking about what I should or shouldn’t eat?
• Do I avoid social events because I’m worried about the food?
• Do I feel like one indulgent meal means I’ve “messed up”?
• Do I regularly tell myself I’ll start over tomorrow, Monday or next week?
• Do I have trouble enjoying food because I’m thinking about calories, portions or whether I “should” be eating it?

If you answered yes to some of these, it doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you. It may simply be an opportunity to take a step back and ask yourself whether your approach to food is actually making your life better.

Now the real question: how do we take some of the power away from food?

1. Start by getting rid of the all-or-nothing mentality.

One meal doesn’t make or break your health. One dessert doesn’t erase a week of nutritious meals. And eating a salad for lunch doesn’t mean you have to eat perfectly for the rest of the day.

Instead of thinking, “I blew it, so I might as well keep eating,” try thinking, “That was one eating experience. My next meal can simply be my next meal.”

2. Stop labeling yourself based on what you eat.

You’re not “good” because you ate a salad, and you’re not “bad” because you ate a burger. Food choices are just food choices.

3. Give yourself permission to eat foods you enjoy.

Sometimes, restricting a food can make us think about it even more. Giving yourself permission to enjoy foods you love—without guilt—can help take some of the intensity out of them.

4. Build some consistency into your eating.

Regular meals and snacks can help you stay connected to your hunger and fullness cues rather than getting to the point where you’re absolutely starving and feel completely out of control around food.

And perhaps most importantly, remember that life is busy.

There will be nights when dinner comes from a drive-through. There will be birthday cake. There will be vacations, holidays, football weekends, restaurant meals and afternoons when you eat something simply because it sounded good.

The goal isn’t to stop caring about nutrition. The goal is to create an approach to food that supports your health without requiring your constant attention.